Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
