We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
