so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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