hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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