shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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