Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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