Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
