i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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