It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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