honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
