Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
