Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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