that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
