Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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