I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
