I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Will exercising make me less horny?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
