Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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