nut hugger
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
