he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
