is your mom at the bar?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
