If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
