did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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