You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
