holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
