I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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