If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
