Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
