All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
