I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
