College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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