I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
