She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
