Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
