Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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