Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
MIDGETS
????
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
