Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
