So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
