Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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