Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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