Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
