DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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