Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
