She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
