So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
