yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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