I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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