your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My hand turned me down
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
