Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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