are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
