i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
